Update from Govardhan, November 6th
Please accept my dandavat pranams. All glories to Srila Gurudeva and Srila Prabhupada. All glories to Sri Sri Guru and Gauranga. All glories to Sri Sri Radha-Vinodehariji.
Yesterday evening we had darshan two or three times of Srila Gurudeva again on the large screen in the temple room. During the first darshan, Srila Gurudeva was lying almost completely motionless on his bed. It was very karunika, and some devotees’ hearts were spilling out of their eyes as tears. Afterwards, we had a darshan with Srila Gurudeva propped up and moving his hand in blessing. Last night was Amavasya (new moon) and also an unusually favourable constellation for leaving this world. The senior devotees were very anxious, and some sat in Srila Gurudeva’s room all night chanting auspicious mantras. Meanwhile, an enthusiastic kirtan went on all night in the temple room.
As usual, many devotees attended mangala aratika. I was remembering devotees all over the world who are not able to be here physically, but who are very acutely attuned to what is happening here. Suddenly someone came up to me and said, “Such-and-such devotee said that Brajanath Pabhu had said that Srila Gurudeva is leaving now.” What to do? After a while I found out that it was a completely false alarm, and that Srila Gurudeva had actually rested better than usual. He is a little better today than he has been.
It is recognized that the next few days are “the most difficult”. Many devotees have expressed anxiety about the day when Parampujyapada Vamana Maharaja and Srila Trvikrama Maharaja left this world. Madhava Maharaja and Brajanath Prabhu have said that they never heard Srila Gurudeva say anything about leaving on that day.
During the morning program we had darshan again on the large screen. During the first darshan, Srila Gurudeva was lying still on his back, and the devotees cheered when he moved his hand even a little. Heart-breaking. Later, we saw him propped up on his bed. Devotees in his room showed him the camera connected to our big screen, and he waved and gave blessings, and the devotees reciprocated.
Srila Gurudeva appeared in a dream to a devotee who has been involved in his treatment. In the dream, Srila Gurudeva said, “Actually I am not sick at all. Shall I show you?” And he started jumping on his bed. Then he said. “I am not dependent on anyone or anything.” This was the dream.
At the end of the morning program, BV Madhava Maharaja came in and spoke briefly. He said that Srila Gurudeva is actually progressing, and that he is sure to become well, by Giriraja Govardhan’s mercy.
In discussion with other devotees, it is clear that everyone accepts Srila Gurudeva as a completely transcendental personality. No one I have met understands what is really happening, or what is going to happen. Neither I nor anyone else I have met can guess what will happen from one hour to the next, and what to speak of the long run. We are deeply involved. I cannot resist hoping that Srila Gurudeva will recover, although there seems to be so much standing in the way of that hope. As one of “the team” said, “Srila Gurudeva goes up and down, and we go up and down with him.”
One devotee just wrote, “How should we pray?” Good question. I want to desire what Srila Gurudeva desires, and I am not sure what that is at the moment. I have received so much from him, and I really want the opportunity to please and enliven him by service. When my Guru Maharaja was preparing to leave, devotees would gather in his room and give him gentle massage, sometimes four or five at a time. We can massage Srila Gurudeva with our prayers. There is no limit to the number of devotee he can accommodate on his transcendental form.
I overhear two devotees discussing the situation. One of them spoke about the events of the last few days, and then Madhava Maharaja’s speech this morning, and concluded, “It’s kind of bewildering.”
Aspiring for service to Sri Hari, Guru and Vaishnavas,
B V Nemi
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